I had a strange holiday, he did not just want Christmas this year. too much consumption, perhaps, not quite design (Immaculate, which is). I realized that I did not make much impact in the world with my creativity, and be separated from the artistic side of me makes me very unhappy. I wonder what to expect? I feel bound to the house we rent, we hope, one to buy, I love my husband and our dog and our lives, but there were some moments where 32 recently estimated terribly claustrophobic and the truth: it is my fault. i have missed something for a long time now that centers me, puts me in the world in a real tangible way, and thus I return to writing.

I spent several hours last night review, I wrote a story in graduate school. I have so much material from those two years and I have not seen since my graduation. i moved away from the lives of artists and to a person of service. I love teaching, and was the best day job, I never had, but it does not need the i must be creative, expressive on my own terms. education has restrictions and structures and rules that determine how you can be creative, and for what purpose. When I write, I find myself inventing the world as I see it, or that I like. j.d. Salinger, who made 90 yesterday, says: "An artist’s only concern is to build a kind of perfection, and on its own terms, not anyone else’s." That’s all I want to do. to discover my own form of perfection, if only in a few thousand words, a couple of stories at once.
i plan to seek new landscapes, watching the world through new eyes, ensuring that the life that I have allows me to be creative, give me the time and opportunity to work on my writing, and me and allows me to continue the search for purpose and beauty in the world and me. 2009 is just one and a half days, but I know it’s my time, and I refuse to feel selfish about taking it. Everyone deserves to be happy and if you do not then get up and do something. nobody can do it for you.
during the past year, I saw friends of divorce and stay civil demonstrates what it means to really love someone, I saw my friends become mothers, with people losing family members, and some of the kindness of people I know have questioned their reason for living. if we can not all rally around each other and try to breathe in the beauty world, what are we? we need to learn from each other and remember what Ani DiFranco said: "love is all over the place."
I believe in that, this year, and I hope you will do the same.